Old Maid

Boy, oh boy. Oh. boy. BOY!


Relationships are an odd animal. They are inanimate.. A union in which feelings get pummeled, kicked, twisted, hurt, and weakened. Oh yes, and of course on the flip side of that is love. Say it with me now,  LOVE.   L-O-V-E .  ahhhhh... like the wondeful picture in your head that you created when you were a mini version of your now self that recalled a euphoric utopia of bliss. Screeeeeechhh Yeah, not feeling that right now.

We really do know what we want, but we often settle for good enough because we are in fear that better might not come along and we would have wasted our entire life looking for Mr. Right and come up empty handed, unattached, and unbetrothed. AKA.. Old Maid. And ya know, you really don't think about being an old maid until you start approaching old maid age. 35? 40? Who knows, but when you start to realize that the pickins' are slim, that's when you've reached that point.

So here I am.

I'm dating. Dating a nice guy.  He makes me laugh. He's handsome. He's energetic. He's always in a good mood.  He's met my kids and we've broken turkey legs together and will be busting our belts tomorrow at Christmas dinner.

Problem?  I don't know.

But, what doesn't feel right you can't ignore. So I have sat here thinking about what it is that I want and what it is he doesn't have. And you know what I realize? I need certain things out of my relationship, we ALL do and we need to assert those requirements.  I'm responsible  for setting the tone; for teaching him (or whomever) how to treat me. I am in control of my yeses and my nos. I will not be molded or cajoled, petted, or convinced.  I will say what I want and say what I don't want. Us women, we need to stop changing for men.  There is a distinct difference between changing and altering when it comes to relationships. DO NOT change who you are. You CAN change what you do. Do not compromise your worth for his happiness. That goes for the gentlemen too.

So, I have a lot of thinking to do on this lovely, solo Christmas Eve night. I'm thinking of a lot of words I want to say.  I'm not going to let the fear of ending up an dried up, washed up, post menopausal  woman  Old Maid control my decisions.

I am a Queen. See me wave my scepter.

Truth Be Told:  We only have one life but we have unlimited chances throughout this life to connect with our other half. Do not let fear dictate who you choose to be with.   You, Queen, YOU, dictate who, when and for how long.