Dreams.

Should we only believe in our dreams if they are reasonably attainable? Should we apply logic and then if the logic doesn't fit forgo the dream?  I say no.  All dreams that come true started out as a wish. Then ended as a dream come true because you put in the work to get there.

If you set yourself a goal you must also put in the work.  You must apply yourself, put your self in favor and remain focused.  You cannot afford many slips. But if you do, grow from them. If it's something you want to get better at, look at someone who you think is already the best at it. Do what they do. (and no it's not  copying, it's being smart and resourceful). Now watch someone who is bad at it, and avoid those pitfalls. Align yourself with the like-minded and steer clear from the absent-minded.

If you fail, you haven't tried hard enough.  DO OVER. Repeat if necessary.

Don't get discouraged and don't listen to the naysayers and the negative.

Remember that hard work begets great things. No work begets no things.

Truth be Told:  You dream. You believe. You activate. You plan. You work. You achieve.  You win.

17 Random Thoughts from a Chronic Thinker

•  Happiness is in your head; where you create it.
• Why do we let a little rain take away our sunshine?
•  Some people really do have nobody but themselves.
•   I see evolution through history, but I also see transgression.
•   The intricate operation and precision of my working, breathing, functioning body is enough proof to to me think there is something greater out there.
•  Normal people are crazy.
•   You gain intelligence by instruction, you gain wisdom by experiencing. 
•   There is far pleasure to be found than pain.  
•   Kismet connections exist.
•   All dreams that come true were once just wishes. 
•  Self doubt is a killer.
• Bullying is fear personified.
•   "Love is never having to say your sorry" is BS. Love is the often the only reason you need to     say it.......so say it.
•   Evidence is everything, notions and "gut feelings" are not.
•   Anger is just pain coming to the surface.
•  We take flight far more than we fight.
• No one knows you like you know yourself.

Evil money

Money isn't the root to all evil, it IS the evil. It will make someone forget what scruples are, what love is and it screws up the damn hierarchy of importance.  If you ask me what sustains me,  I will say hope, love, relationships and then money.  When you go messing around with the natural order of the cosmos and start letting the money motivate you, you can potentially (and often) lose the love and relationships that you have gained or built along the way or worse yet, miss out on it all together.

I understand the importance of money for sustenance and even nice things, I get it. But why, do some people allow money to dominate their lives, their conversations, and their relationships? It's paper that holds power. Paper shouldn't hold power. We slave for it, we bust ass for it, we sacrifice for it, but we don't do this for people that we love? What's wrong here??

If money had a thought process it would subscribe to the divide and conquer theory. It will divide people, nations, and families.  People will fight for money, but not fight for love. They will go to war often because of money and it's associated power, but not for injustice. (at least not in this country anyway!)

It puts a heavy heave of sadness on this poor little rich soul to know people in my life that are like this.

Truth be Told:  If I had a choice, I'd rather be noble without money, than powerful with it.

The Value of a Compliment

 So I was thinking....and reading...and observing..... and wondering....and realizing...

I  loathe the empty compliment that is only intended to satiate and placate the receiver.

 "O M G Betty, your fluorescent yellow polka dotted, frilly, furry, coat that hugs you in all the wrong places  is sooooooooooo cute!"

I love the genuine compliment. 


"Betty, that coat is a one of a kind find, what a treasure!"  This statement  isn't so ummmmm...  esoteric?

Yes, the latter does something to satisfy the recipient but it also sounds believable Yes,  it's politically correct and safe  but at least  it doesn't quite translate to:

 I'm just trying to make her feel better so I will overcompensate and use all sorts of exaggerated eye movements and pet her coat and draw out my ooooooo in 'cute' and end it with an exclamation and question her where she got it.

 Truth be Told:  There is very little value in the superfluous, sell out compliment.  

Bad Memories Be Gone!

Memories are our connection to the past.  It's our way of fondly remember something or someone; at least the good ones  'cause that's easy.  But what about the not so great memories, the ones that we try and push to the back of your minds hoping they will never stir up again? All a sudden and sometimes out of nowhere, there is something that brings that ill memory forward and we are  forced to recall an event, an unfortunate incident, regret or even a heartbreak.  The guilt sets in. The sadness weighs heavy on your heart, or the disappoint looms over you like a black cloud.  We will replay the series of happenings over and over and perhaps evening redoing how it  could have happened instead. We retrofit the characters to satiate our "What ifs" and we change the time line with the "If only I hads" just to wonder if it would have all panned out differently. We blame other parties for things we were  prompted or compelled to do. We claim that that it was someone else's fault and do little to bear the burden ourselves. Perhaps it's our way to justify it all but really, we can't change these occurences. We can't rewrite a memory, but we can always write a new story.

Truth be Told: It makes absolutely zero sense to continue to revisit a past you can't ever go back to and change.  The past has passed.   Prove yourself wrong that you can rid yourself of the burdens and rise to meet the challenge of not letting the same story be written. 

Pace, Progress, and the Pursuit of Perfection.

 Perfection is a misnomer, it does not exist. The quest  for the ideal may, but the actual nirvana of where nothing goes wrong, people don't fail, roadblocks don't appear, and you have everything you could ever hope to buy?  That doesn't happen.

 I used to think that if my children didn't get straight A's in school that they would somehow end up in the gutter. I used to to think if I couldn't have a BMW when I grew up that I would be destined to living a  Gremlin hatchback lifestyle where I roam the country in tattered Levi's and flip flops. I always daydreamed of a fabulous lifestyle of me on the back of a yacht cruising parallel down the coast of South Beach drinking my de rigeur cocktail throwing my head back with  a casual, carefree laugh.  It was either this extreme or that extreme and nothing in the middle The middle to me meant mediocrity, it meant I was going to be like everyone else who just fell under the radar and not making any splashes.

And then...

I grew up and realized that happiness and progress aren't tied to superficial things or attaining things that defined with terms like number one , the  best, Valedictorian, (I wasn't even close!)  president or dare I say it whether I have  Christian Louboutins or a Christian Dior purse.  Don't get me wrong, I still pine after those things, but that's just fun now.  My life is "perfect" right now as it is. And even if it were to take a down slide, it would still be "perfect" as  imperfect as it looks on paper.  Why ? Oh, I will tell you, you know that by now reader. Right? Right.

If you are moving in the right direction, if you are getting better than you once were- the "perfection" is in the development; it's in the progress.  It's the your desire to want to be a better human being. It's in your desire to increase your thoughtfulness, your ethic, your loyalties, your parenting skill sets;  It's in your practice to set goals. It's in your practice to improve. It's  in your wants to be more mindful or to pay it forward. If you are aware of your abilities and accomplish what your intended then you are earning your "A". It may take the tortoise longer to get to the finish line than the hare, but the tortoise still got there. He accomplished the exact same thing, it just took a little bit longer. God isn't looking at how fast you accomplish something, he just looks to see if you fulfilled your purpose here on the planet you inhabit.

Someone told me that I should not fret if something if my children don't understand conceptually what I am trying to teach them as fast as I think they should. That everyone  develops at their own pace and as long as their foundation is solid, as long as they embody the important values that I am teaching them that it's not gong to matter Isabella forgets to wash her face or color in the lines or whether Jock leaves his shorts on the floor.  The chores themselves don't matter. Getting straight A's isn't necessary. The A's can be earned, Isabella can stay in the lines, both the kids can keep a tidy room IF the use  with the grunt work, the ethic, the determination and performance of those ideals with consistency. << That is what I am trying to teach them. They will get it.  It is simply not going to matter if Jock understand Pythagorean theory or that quantum physics BS.

Truth be Told:  Progress just has to be on pace, which means moving in the proper direction . That is the only qualifier to perfecting it. Don't listen to the naysayers who insist you need to be driving you car around the track the fastest to win. Sometimes your car  breaks down or runs out of fuel.  You replenish and fill up, and keep it moving around the track and can still beat the driver who had pole position. The finish flag is in your sights. 

Cerebral Chaos

Most all suffer. We all have times when we suffer from brain overload.  Some many thoughts churn, ideas form,  memories to file away, things to ponder, outcomes to play over, plans to make, questions to ask.

A overactive brain is a good thing. It tells me that one is not superficial or one dimensional.  You may be over analytical but shouldn't  we be? And in most cases it pays to be that way. It can stop us from making a wrong turn ( literally or figuratively), it can make us temper our impulses or forecast a scenario's outcome in our head before we take action.

Just think if you didn't have a plethora of information moving around up there. THEN you may have a problem and have to get your IQ tested.

So what if one jumps from one thought to another. Some call you a scatterbrain.  What does that mean? Since when does order play a role or in someone's intelligence? Isn't it what they know and how they apply what they know? If God had created the cart before the horse would that mean the horse wouldn't know how to lead the cart? No. If you eat breakfast for dinner or Oreos for an appetizer does that mean a thing? No. Order in the brain (and often in life) is inconsequential.  Unless you are having babies at 80 and wearing adult diapers at 20.

To some your thoughts appear organized and well thought out.  A lot of time there is a lot going on up in  your noggin that you may have to  sift through to get something out in a seemingly rational, non- partisan manner. It often takes work, but ultimately it all means the same thing; It just may translate different after you have edited your  private thoughts!  (okay these "you's" and "your's" should really be "my's", lol)

This all probably sounds jumbled and scatterbrained and I guess that is the point!

Truth be told: Your cerebral chaos is a sign of an active mind. An active mind always is open to learn. When you are open to learn, you further your knowledge. When you further your knowledge you gain wisdom. And that makes you like.... uber awesome.

What's Your Legacy?

When we raise our children we must remember that even the seemingly insignificant things have great meaning. Many teaching tools are unspoken acts in which we show them how to live, how to love, how to empathize, how to react. Modeling  the behavior is the most powerful tool that we as parents can utilize. While some fret over what to say, be just as mindful as to how to say it or how to show it.

 I am sure that no child will care whether you describe  copulation and reproduction as an ovum and a sperm meeting for tickle time, or what mommy and daddy do when they love each other.  The gentleness in which we advise, the care that we show in not making them feel uncomfortable, the engagement of the child in the the conversation or activity are all vital in the rearing of great human beings. Be cognizant. Be interested. Teach them how to be loving by showing them love. You can't feign that, saying I love you is not enough.  Showing that you are genuinely interested in them is what you should be doing. It doesn't make you a great parent if you put your kid in football or cheer leading.. It makes you a great parent if you attend those games or that cheer leading competition. You HAVE to be their biggest supporter and advocate.

 When you advocate  for your child you are showing them they are worthy, when you are supporting their dreams it shows them you believe in them. When you sacrifice for them you are teaching them humility. When you openly  openly apologize for an error you may have made you are showing them accountability.

While it is true that most parents subscribe to the "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality, they are the last ones to know that their kid stopped believing the hype when they were old enough to discern right from wrong. Any parent that thinks a child isn't aware of their hypocrisy needs to peel their peepers.  Either that or check into the reality hotel. Kids get it!

Truth be told: The journey that you travel throughout life ends when God calls you home. HOW you travel during your journey is your legacy you leave to your children and that will thrive long after you are gone.

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day??? YES!!!

If you go so long without crying or stumbling over a little bit of unhappiness, do you grow suspect?
Are you waiting for the ax to drop because you know you are not that  "lucky"?  Have you inherited this mindset of always thinking something bad is going to happen to you on the regular? Stinkin' thinkin' I declare!  STOP thinking your life is a slew of pitfalls and upsets. Your mindset can often determine the outcome.  Why and how?   Who knows.  That mystery has prompted people to write books about it, philosophize about it, and thank God for it,  but I am not quite sure I have a definitive reason myself.  But I do know that being on the negative side of things doesn't help you in the least.  You don't agree?  Good time to start a'changin'!  I do know that it does cause a lot of undue stress by worrying about things that haven't even happened yet!

 If you do feel so inclined to be suspicious about something or someone, make sure it has a valid basis.   Has it actually happened? Do conditions make it favorable.... 100% favorable?  If  there isn't a 100% chance of rain there is always a chance it won't happen.  Live on the  sunny side of the weather report. Don't set someone or something up for failure before they even sit down to take the test.

Truth be told: Ain't no sense worrying about the tornado until it gets here.  Even if it looks like it is on the fast path directly to you, it more often than not turns away.  Don't get  caught up in a a cyclone of negativity about something that doesn't even exist in the present.   Remember, sometimes no news is good news.

America.

I have been reflecting,weeping, goosebumping, clenching my chest, and carrying a heavier heart today. I will do so over the next  couple of days I am certain.
At the same time, my pride for my country, it's military, it's selfless first responders, and anyone who gave of themselves on 9/11  lives within me and resonating loud.

At this symbolic time, I felt completely compelled to change up my writing style, lose the wit, lose the sarcasm, lose the quasi brash and honor my America.  I do so with a short poem that I just completed. I'm not a prolific writer of poetry to begin with if you are talking technicalities.(or really any other  point that makes a jumble of words constitute a poem!)  However, the quintessential prose is not about technicalities but about heart the inspires it and molds it into something relatable.  The personal heart pour is the only requirement.

America

The enemy knows not the unyielding strength of  her heart,

nor the fortitude of her pride,

not the abundance of her army

nor the swift justice

of our America.

The enemy can not besiege us

or take our freedoms, liberties or rights.

The enemy can test our  resilience,

but it cannot take our will.

The enemy may wear our fabric thin,

but our America will continue to  weave our dream.

Our America was built on our families;

a collective of beliefs and tenets

that forged our way to personal freedoms

and pursuits of happiness.

Whether in agreement or in protest

we all call her home.

Home is where your heart is and my heart

is here.

In America.

God bless ALL her children.

God bless America.

Truth be told: Reflect on the tragedy to remember our tenacity. Our country, our America, is our home.  You don't have to love your leader to love your country.  Remember the fallen and honor the remaining fighting for us today. 

Time is of the essence, realize that!

Stop lamenting, complaining, explaining that you don't have time.

Often we need to remember just to remember to do stuff.... to see people, to do this, or to do that, make a phone call that has already been delayed umpteen times. You get the drift. Why?  Because you do it. You make excuses on why you can't do something just because it makes the guilt a little bit lighter. Right?

There are so many things that get lost in the shuffle of life that are worth doing. We tend to devote time to things/people that are not worth the devotion. It's really meaningless whether we miss "our show", or don't get a chance to sleep that literal extra minute. We set aside time to do nothing but haven't seen our  loved ones in months, sometimes years because we  "don't have time". Well, restructure your time..... Welllllllll heck!... you don't even have to do that much, because everyone has time. It's whether or not you make it a priority.  The president makes time for his family and is he not one of the  busiest individuals currently walking the planet? Take a look at how  you spend your time. How many times a day do you sit down and fiddle with Facebook, play video games, stagnate around the house until you feel like getting up? We waste an awful lot of seconds, minutes, hours, and days just doing nothing where we could be fitting in more meaningful, constructive things.

 So why aren't we doing it?

Do one thing today that you say you can never do because " you don't have time.". In a week or two, tackle another one.  Whether it's a phone call, a visit, some spring cleaning, writing, or starting a new hobby. And stop making the excuses that you can't, you can. You just haven't felt it important enough to do. Be real with yourself and perhaps the guilt will trip you into progress. It'll be a good trip.


Truth be told: For every day you are living  you are dying. Fill the spot on earth that you inhabit  with the people that matter, the things that matter, and fulfilling ventures that mean something.   

PPT

Powerful Positive Thinking.

I didn't coin the initialism.  (side note,albeit early, the difference between an initialism and an acronym is that an initialism can't be sounded out, as an acronym can i.e. Rainbow P.U.S.H colalition, this could be a Jeopardy question one day!).  A friend however  did and I regret to admit that I didn't practice this much today although my urge was totally there and I tried to remember my little mantra when I got frustrated today, I succumbed to the disparity. Grrr. Mad at myself!

Remembering is the easy part, it's putting it into action that can be challenging during certain moments.  Case in point, I do not like when the general public calls me and pigeon holes me into being the government as if the government was a living, breathing body sitting behind a desk.  Although I am indeed employed by the government, I do have my own DNA. I breathe.  I have debt sure, but not a trillion dollars worth!   It's "you people" do this and "you people" have a new 3 million dollar  city hall, and "you people" just want us to go without, etc.  Listen, if  I had my choice, I'd feed everybody, deliver water and electric for free, and give away free turkeys for Thanksgiving AND Christmas.. But alas, I am but one person who bears the brunt of other people's suitcases full of drama. I lack the power what can I say?

So often, people forget that you really do get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. True enough, you must add a sprig of persistence but I assure you, you are nice to me than I in turn will be nice to you.  Whether you are an engineer (who really can't see anything in the abstract sense, grrrr ), a contractor, a person on welfare with one limb and 10 kids, I will treat you all the same provided you reciprocate. It 's not rocket science. (sorry Mr. Engineer).

Sooooo, having relieved myself of my own suitcase load of lovely,  I assume my powerful, positive thinking right now this moment!

Truth be told: Sometimes trying is not succeeding, that doesn't mean one should give up. Regroup, restructure and repeat. 

Confess Up!

Confession #1  I love Hello Kitty and pawn it off on my 6 year old daughter who doesn't love it nearly as much as I do.   Oh well, guess the cat is out of the bag on that one.


Confession #2 When I'm too lazy to vacuum out my vehicle I just brush the carpet with a bristle brush.  This is actually a good idea, dammit!


Confession #3  I'm a hypochondriac of sorts. So far I think I "have" at least 22 different definable conditions.  They probably all go back to my over ingestion of Phenylalanine, the amino acid chemically isolated and added to the wonderful, joyous, ever refreshing beverage I imbibe on the daily called Diet Coke.  But I continue to tell myself it's other things 'cause I'm not determined enough to kick the darn drink habit.

Confession #4  I'm convinced that everything is better in pairs, or by 2's. Refer to confession #3.  My favorite number used to be 2, but when you put another 2 next  to it, 22, doesn't that give you better luck?  I tell myself it does.  2 people make for great conversation, 2 people to play a tennis match, 2 people to play cards, 2 x 2 on the ark, hey.... wait... why didn't fish and water animals survive the flood?  Did they get on the ark?.......?..............? OCD and ADD  <--- Hey, that's  a pair!

Confession #5  I cannot sew. Not nary a button so I rely on Liquid Stitch,  safety pins, earrings, or rubber bands.  Or whatever else can hold my clothes together in a pinch.

Confession #6  I HATE the sound of a woman's heel when the heel tap has come off her high heeled shoe.  I call it the "Ghetto Click".. you know how it sounds metal-y from the nail that is in the heel click-clacking down the tiled hallway.  I know you know what I am talking about. Stop doing it!  I have at  least 6 pairs awaiting a cobbler/shoe repair person to get fixed for that reason alone.


Confession #7 I will never stop believing in the good of human nature, no matter how vile the world gets.  It's so much easier to see life through your soul instead of your eyes.

Truth be told: Self deprecation is a "good for your soul "practice. It equates with humility. 

Accept Your Imperfections.

 We  all are everything we say we are not, and we all are everything we sometimes don't want to be. We are fallible, our nature will be fret with foibles, and our lives will be laced with less than sound decisions.  Don't beat yourself to a pulp over it. It hurts!  Accept that we are created imperfect and strive for your own definition of  righteousness and just self. Do not allow someone else to write your definition. Tell yourself who you are and act upon it.  Know your mission statement is sealed through your actions, your words, your miss-steps, your misfortunes, your selections, your opinions, your decisions, your shortcomings and your abilities to recover.  You encompass a slew of positives and negatives, positives not always good and negatives not always so bad.  This is what creates the beauty of the human being. Love the quirk. Hate the quest for idyllic person/self, there is none. Keep your vehicle of life moving.

All human beings have their own set of idiosyncrasies and imperfections. Acceptance is realization and full cognitive awareness that you are willing to  take someone  "as is".  I find that people that don't accept others do not accept themselves either and remain in a constant state of self-loathing because they never measure up to their own unrealistic expectations of who they should be. I witness these people unhappy, bitter, and mean-spirited. They may never stop to wonder what drives their disdain, for they are too caught up in their own web of self-hatred to ever love or accept another. They blame everyone else and claim victim status every chance they get.  They weep endlessly, remain in a purposeful funk and just stay there nursing their cocktail of shame and regret while the paddle down the river of whoa on their self inflatable boat of discontent.  The sun never shines in their world because  their weather report is always a mix of clouds and high percentages of rain. Why? Because they don't accept themselves "as is".  Being  "as is" doesn't mean you are marked down or less valuable, it means you are human.  When these people fall short of their own self-proclaimed ideology, they grow depressed because they are reaching for a height that does not exist.

I am happy to be "as is".  I love being a little eccentric, a little off-kilter, a little different.  I accept myself wholly.  Do you?


Truth be Told: Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexities and injustices.  -Paul Tournier

Debunk Defeat.

For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat.

Now I don't know who Wallis Simpson is but he had  some wise words, don't ya reckon?

You must refuse to fail. You don't have to  accept hindrances, roadblocks, and the like. You must  merely get past them and keep it moving.  One  must not let things discourage you, kill you, or  put a damper on your fire. The more you fuel your inner burning and  don't let the torch dim, the less defeat will have game time in the arena that is  you.

Defeat is agonizing yes, but victory is so much sweeter. The battles are always worth winning when the outcome makes  the journey worth traveling.  The journey doesn't always have you stopped at beautiful expansive vistas or Kodak moment  locales, but when you reach you destination, you soon come to the realization that the trip actually wasn't so bad after all. Moreover, you made it through with your own reserves of strength,supported by your spirit and will.  It simply does not matter if the trip was made in a  falling out jalopy or a stealth G6, whether it took 100 days or 1 day, you got there my friend. Rejoice.

Truth be told: Realize that setbacks are only temporary. The sun will always shine after the rain and the light will forever follow the darkness. 

The Secret to a Happy Life.

What does Angela think the secret to happiness in  life is?

It is when you make the cognizant effort to be happy no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing.  Happiness reigns supreme when the happiness derives internally.  Get rid of  the asinine  expectations you secretly set for others; I'm not saying forget them, I am saying stop putting them  (and the  blame) of your disposition on others and start putting them on yourself.  There is no one to  blame for your unhappiness but the man staring back at you in the mirror. Just because someone/something is the catalyst of the unhappiness doesn't mean you have to stay sullen and sulking stuffing your face in a gluttonous bowl of Cherry Garcia or drowning it in your mug o' beer. Make the effort to resolve the feelings and do what you have to do let it go.  Releasing ill feelings and stopping the negative behaviors that are associated with it will free your mind, and  like the song says  " And the rest will follow.".

Truth be told: Stop accepting your unhappiness and start promoting your joy.