Izzyisms- Age 9

" Mama, you need to go to the doctor, your butt should be flat not poufy."

Jockisms- Age 20

When asked what he benched by a passerby: " I bench Volkswagons."

Angelaisms- Age 39

" A selfless heart begets another selfless heart."

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Stupid (and often senseless)*hit Angela Does.

1. Break the  clothes hanger.... and put it back in the closet.
2. Walk past the light switch and say to myself "I will turn it off later".
3. Throw away pennies.
4.Let the change  collect at the bottom of the washer... until there is at least a dollar there because then  it's worth retrieving.
5. Rush when I'm early and be upset when I'm late even though I'm ten minutes early.
6. Keep earrings that have no mate for YEARS.. because the other one may turn up eventually or fix itself.
7.White glove test in unlikely to be dusted places and personally give myself a mental high five when I discover a place that has been left undusted. i.e. the top of fan blades or across the top of a headboard.
8. Look inside trash cans to devise a psychological evaluation.
9.  Look inside parked  cars for signs of disarray. (see above reason)
10. Read magazines back to front because I'm too impatient to wait to see the great last page bits. Thanks Glamour!
11. Read online menus, menus in hotel rooms, take out menus left at various places.
12. Clip coupons and never use them. Going as far as organizing them and inserting them in a coupon wallet every Sunday.
13. Pluck my gray hairs out with a tweezers.
14. Buy a plant and never water it.
15. Read "Psychology Today".
16. Look at pictures I hate to look at. To include but not fully encompass: ghetto club pictures, medical photos, or photos of insects.
17.  Throw a can in the trash as opposed to the recycling bin sitting right next to it.
18. Hold my nose as I walk by someone whose hygiene may be questionable.
19. Look at the bottom of people's feet.
20. Encroach on my neighbor's parking spot because she won't trim her damn bushes that encroach on my walkway causing me to have to walk through wet grass in my  Michael Kors heels and get molested by her god damn hibiscus!

Truth be told:  We all have eccentricities, pointless reasoning, and quirky behaviors.  Embrace your colorful self.

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