Write Way or Wrong Way?

I can't be forced to write, for fear that I will lose my creative flow...... probably.  I need for my writing to always feel like it flows freely and open. I feel coerced when someone asks me to write. It's as if I'm compelled to second guess every keystroke, every letter, every use of grammar, every nuance. I suddenly feel like I will not be able to perform or not be able to put forth my normal witticisms and engage in my pursuits of self truths.

Of course  this must be a  psychological dictionary's blatant definition of deflection and  blame, fear, and doubt. What if what I write doesn't appeal to the target audience? Any who, who is my target audience besides myself?  It's my own way of journaling my thoughts so I can discover, find out, diagnose myself. Not quite sure I have figured myself out yet though.  Insert dry laugh here.

I have realized that I do not write for the masses, but for me so that the ones that I am surrounded  by can get to know me as well. It's much easier to break down a stream of consciousness when it's written than when it's blurted out in the middle of a discussion. There is a tangibility to the written word. You can read, and re-read, dissect and discuss; decipher, and sometimes even defend. You have to apply thought to the written word, and  even though there are countless words in countless languages, I found myself looking just for thee perfect ones to convey what I am trying to say that I can't do orally. Condensed. Most times........... Let me talk, and I would never stop. Promise.


Truth Be Told: Everyone has something unconventional that serves a therapeutic purpose. It's a way of coping and learning. The human psyche,  especially your own, is in constant need of interpretation and discovery. Writing just leaves a paper trail for the ones that love you to do the same thing.